Wednesday 12 August 2015

Breaking down a surface belief, statement or judgement to find the 'core belief'


Breaking down a surface belief, statement or judgement to find the 'core belief'

Start with a statement that feels crappy or hurtful to you.

For example 'I am too fat'

And then you start asking one of 2 questions, these are:

Why is that so bad?
Or..
What does that mean to me?

It may easier to write it out on paper if you're doing this exercise on yourself. Or find a friend to work with.



So...

I am too fat.
Why is that so bad?
It makes me feel ugly
Why is that so bad?
No one will find me attractive
Why is that so bad?
No one will love me
What does that mean to you?
I will be alone

In this case 'I will be alone' is the core belief.

 
That's a totally mega over-simplified version of the exercise - and not everyone who perceives themselves as fat has the same underlying fear AT ALL.

Everyone has different fears - but many of them are built around 'I am not enough', 'I will be alone', 'no one will love me', fear of death/fear of not being loved and accepted.
You might have to carry on asking the questions for a long time, in order to get to the bottom of it. Maybe 30-40 times, to get to the root of it.

If at any point you can't go further or it doesn't make sense with one question - try asking the other question. If you keep going in circles you have likely found the core belief - or even a few together

Be brave. Brave enough to be completely honest with yourself. This exercise can be scary - because we push away what we are scared to look at - afraid to give it 'power' - but the truth is - once we look at our fears, we shine awareness on them. Awareness = the light. We shine the light on the darkness. On the fear. This gives it LESS power - and us the power to heal.

Heal and change the core belief - then you automatically heal all the surface beliefs and manifestations on top of it.


However, once we know the underlying fear/core belief. We can't go back to ignorance. We shine awareness on anything and we can't take it back. Ignorance can be bliss. Awareness can leave us with newfound knowledge we are not sure what to do with. We have to have courage to create change and walk new, untrodden paths.
It's deeply insightful, especially when we do the technique with a 'judgement' - for e.g 'That person such and such is lazy'. Judgements come from fear! Find your fears and help to fix your monkey, judging mind.

I'm not sure who to give credit to for the technique - as I found it in an 'Ask Teal' spiritual video - but I think the 'core beliefs' work comes from Carl Jung.

Once we've found the core belief/fear - then we can work on healing - so we can't be triggered in the future - and make decisions on what we actually want - not because we're scared of feeling a certain way.

Once we isolate the core belief/fear - there are a few things we can do to eliminate it.


1) Try Byron Katie's 'The Work'.


This basically questions the heck out of that belief until it holds no power at all.
 
2) Prove it wrong!
 

 We can find ways to prove it wrong (if that's possible for you). Argue against it as if you were the prosecution (or defence).
 
3) Self Love!
 

Work on self-love. Fill yourself with love - this helps enormously with fears! There are hundreds of books on self-love - try any one of them to start you on the path, it's a fabulous journey of a relationship with yourself! Once you learn this you start to need less validation from the outside world. You KNOW yourself more.
 
4) Affirmations.
 
 

 I found the core belief a while ago 'I am a bad mother'. Or 'I am not a good enough mother'. This possibly stems from having depression and splitting from the childrens father. Plus all the other bullsh*t from society about being a good mother.
 
Sometimes the belief is laughable, since the belief came from a couple of years ago - not childhood, I changed it easily - and once we shine the light on these bullsh*t beliefs - we can see why they were hiding. We can quite easily delete them from our registry. (You can see your mind as a computer, what you install on start-up will always be there unless you uninstall it and add a better piece of software, a more helpful programme).

Other beliefs take a little longer. Affirmations in the form of questions work best - so...'Why am I a good mother?' Repeat in the morning and evening.



Tip: I have free text messages on my phone so I used an app called 'sms scheduler' to text myself throughout the day with reminders of my affirmations.


5) Activities.



Do more for yourself of what makes you feel the opposite. So if you find the belief 'I am not enough' what things make you feel like you are enough?

Try to not pin it to one particular person - but to activities or things you can do for yourself - that you can control to an extent. Although obviously certain people do help us feel we 'are enough' - and we should def spend more time with those who lift and support us. Just be wary of relationships where we place the other person as 'saviour'.

6) Collect evidence.



Get a notebook. At the top of each page write down your new beliefs you would like to 'install'. It is still beneficial to write them as questions.
So..

'Why am I a fantastic mother?'
'Why am I worthy?'
'Why do I love life?'
'Why do I love myself?'
'Why am I fit and healthy?'

Each day, add little things you've done to purposely feel that way - and 'back up' this new belief. They need repetition.

You can do this part of the exercise without even looking for core beliefs and fears. You can just 'upgrade' and install new beliefs, say for the Law of Attraction.
'Why does money just flow to me?'
'Why does money love me?'
'Why is everyone so nice to me?'

Look for the reasons why that's true and write them down often. This switches your brain/minds focus and starts to engrain the new belief.

Your brain did this automatically with negative, unhelpful (bullsh*t beliefs). It collected evidence, when it had enough - it determined the belief was the truth and has held onto it ever since.

You can be sure that if you are triggered by something, if you feel an emotional response by peoples words directed at you - then there is an underlying core belief. We pick these up at various stages in our lives. Childhood, teenage years, bad/ugly relationships, damaging friendships, society...so many places.



Don't be afraid to find out what they are. You can change them - and change your life!
Much love everyone ♡♡♡

 -Sarah-

Hi everyone! Thank you for reading. I’m Sarah Cooper and my passions are in: Wellbeing, art, travel & emotional healing.

Through depression I experienced an ‘awakening’ that led me to explore spirituality, psychology and the metaphysical. I want to help other people through this painful process and eventuality open a retreat to bring people together on their healing journey.
 
I also create Gemstone ‘frequency’ jewellery for: The Law of Attraction, Chakra healing, Yoga, and Spiritual growth. Find out more here: www.lovebeyondthemoon.etsy.com
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